An Uncanny Encounter REMASTERED
by Funshutsu
Summary: Two "enemies" become unlikely friends when 2 villains trick them into thinking they're trying to destroy each other's homeworlds. After finding this out, they work together to eliminate the ones responsible for these events.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, it's Funshutsu! You've probably already heard, but this is a remastered version of a fic published 3 years ago. There will be** _ **many**_ **changes in content, mainly involving that strange gay romance Conker and Vexx had (but it'll still be there).**

 **In this Chapter, Conker is informed of someone who's destroyed a small village near his home; he's indifferent about the situation at first until he hears that a $30,000 reward will be given to anyone who has information about said "someone". Please enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

 _1 - A New Enemy is Afoot_

It was the afternoon. Near a small, remote village, a short, red squirrel sat leisurely on a pink couch. Everything in this house was pink; the aforementioned couch, the circle-shaped rug lying in the center of the room, even the dial-up phone sitting on a nearby dresser to his right, near the front door.

He was currently surfing through some channels, but he sighed when he couldn't find interesting playing. He wanted to take a nap, but a cup of morning coffee drunken several hours ago would unwillingly keep him wide awake. He slumped over, his left leg laying spread-out on the couch while his right leg hung over the foot of the couch. He rolled his eyes.

"Man, it sure is _boring_ around here…", he mumbled. He looked to his right; a wall with a picture frame. Inside of the frame was a picture of both he and a taller female chipmunk dressed in a rather skimpy pink and yellow outfit. She was bending over so that her face met with the red squirrel's, since he was shorter than her. They were both making peace signs with one hand and holding ice cream cones with the other, and both were smiling joyfully, however the shorter male sported more of a wide grin than a smile. On the bottom of the picture frame read "Conker and Berri: A couple meant for each other.", with a heart at the end of the sentence.

"I sure miss Berri. She was a sweet gal…", the red squirrel, possibly Conker, said. Apparently, Conker and Berri were very close to each other, with Berri possibly being his girlfriend. We had yet to know what happened to her, though.

Conker faced back towards the TV when he overheard something that caught his attention. It looked to be a news report.

"Reports say that a feral young man is trying to destroy this small village.", the news reporter explained over the TV.

Conker leaned his head to the side. "Huh? Who's that?", he muttered. He decided to listen to more of the news report in order to get more information.

"A sketch sent to us confirms that _this_ is the man that left a small village to burn to ashes. Many of its inhabitants are now homeless due to this devastating event-"

Conker interrupted. "Ugh, again with this 'terrorism' bullcrap? Why can't they just protect themselves? If _I_ can do it, then surely _they_ can do it, too…", he groaned. Indeed, Conker was tired of constantly hearing of terrorists attacks, one after another; the news channels were _flooded_ with news on this topic.

"-The man is still at large. If anyone has found or has information about this young, ferocious man, please call Crimestoppers and you'll receive a $30,000 reward."

Conker then paused the showing and thought for a moment. "Hmm, well if a $30,000 reward is included, then _maybe_ I could find this dude and send him to the proper authorities., but first I have to take a picture of this sketch…", he says, leaving to another room to grab a camera.

He reappeared and took a quick photo of the sketch showing on the TV. The camera would then print out the photo and Conker would flick it several time to get a clear picture. All he had to find was a young man with spiky blue hair, large, blue eyes, and giant, red talons on each hand. This seemed easy enough…

"Hmm. I think I can find this man…", he muttered, heading towards his front door to leave. He then set out to find whoever caused this village fire.

* * *

 **And that's the first Chapter done. The publish schedule for this fic will be pretty random since I'm still working on Sonic Quadru-Venture. Peace out! ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter. The events here are similar to those of the previous chapter, except they're with Vexx and there's other minor differences not worth mentioning. Please enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

 _2 - A Mysterious Enemy Emerges_

In yet another small village, we hear the faint sounds of low grunts and pebbles falling in the distance. It sounded like someone was climbing up something, but _what_? There were canyons _everywhere_ , so this person must've been climbing up one of these canyons in order to get somewhere. He - named Vexx - struggled to reach the flat area above him, but when he did, he stood erect and inhaled.

 _Ah, good old Astara. I sure missed this place…_ , Vexx thought to himself. He closed his eyes and sighed as the gentle breeze crept under his spiky, blue hair. He raised his hands - correction, red talons - very slightly, taking in the fresh scent of nature. Since when was the last time he felt so relaxed?

He recalled vaguely the many years ago that he lost his grandfather to a ruthless dark being. And he was tall; about 4 times Vexx's height, and he almost always sported a sinister grin on his merciless face. He recalled the time that he and his minions had enslaved himself, his grandfather, and the rest of his race and forced them to search for Wraithhearts; he didn't quite recall how many they were supposed to find, though.

He also remembered sneaking away from them and finding the Astani War Talons - yes, those giant red things with very sharp talons that he's currently wearing on his hands - and after all of this, his life was just never the same again.

But this time, he was now free of all of this; he could do whatever he wanted, now. He observed his talons for a moment before placing them to his sides once more, and he enjoyed the silence that soon followed.

But his quiet moments were interrupted when he heard a deep chuckle from a distance. He quickly turned his head to the source of the laughter and nimbly made his way there. Once he made it to the source of the laughter, he was left with eyes wide and mouth agape at the view he was seeing: _fire_. Fire _everywhere_. Every tree, every flower, every bush, _everything_ was on fire. Whatever was on fire used to be a forest full of animal and plant life, but with it all on fire, these animals were either dead or homeless.

Before he could immediately react, he managed to get a glimpse at whoever was fleeing from the burning forest. It looked to be a red squirrel, about his own size, and he wore a blue sweater and green pants. He wasn't sure who this being was, but he knew for sure that he was the culprit for this forest fire.

 _Oh, so he's the one who caused all of this trouble…_ , he thought to himself.

With swift motions, Vexx rubbed the sharp metal parts of his talons together and smirked. A low growl escaped from his mouth filled with fangs.

 _Well, I'll show him to mess with my homeworld…_ , he muttered to himself as he quickly followed the being.

* * *

 **Second chapter done; I know it's short. I wanted to say that this remaster is pretty straightforward; I have everything planned out and, like I said before, updates will come at random times. Ciao! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**In this Chapter, we found out something that we don't quite expect; apparently, these 2 enemies aren't what they seem. Please Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

 _3 - The Big Reveals_

Near another forest, in an unknown part of Conker's homeworld, Conker and Vexx have finally found each other...or did they? Well, The 2 were approaching one another, and one of the suspects look to be a red squirrel with a blue sweater and green pants, while the other sported spiky blue hair, big blue eyes, and big red talons sharp enough to probably slice steel in half, so that must've been them, but they weren't fighting each other. What was up here?

The 2 were _chuckling_ to each other! What was happening here? Weren't they supposed to be destroying each other? Why are they acting so friendly to each other? Suddenly, Vexx grew about 4 times his original size, and began to lose his hair and his talons and instead grew 2 spikes on his shoulders and a rather sinister grin on his dark face. He chuckled lowly as a gentle surge of dark mist was emitted from his lower body.

Conker was doing the same thing, instead he didn't grow much; in fact, he stayed around the same size. He did, however, sported a sort of floating wheelchair and he began to resemble more and more like a weasel. They buth chuckled.

"I'm sure glad joo can shape-shift. Vithout joo, I vouldn't have been able to create zis shape-shifting device. It seems like everysing's going according to ze plan…", the short, crippled one said.

The dark, tall one simply chuckled with an eerie tone. _What a strange scientist he is. This is a very strange plan he's come up with, but so long as it'll end with Vexx being destroyed…_ , he growled.

"Yes, zis plan vill have Conker destroyed in no time. Shall ve continue vith our plan now? I want to make sure zat I get Conker in ze right spot!", the shorter man asked. The taller man nodded and chuckled maniacally, but before they could both leave, they heard some faint footsteps approaching them.

The shorter one thought for a moment. "Joo know vat? Let's stay up by ze trees. I sink one of zem are alveady here…", he muttered. The duo nodded and with that, they both flew above the forest and into the trees.

* * *

Conker groaned with frustration as he entered what looked to be another forest. He wasn't exactly sure why he was looking for this culprit for something so "trivial"; all he wanted was the money that came with giving Crimestoppers information on his whereabouts. He glanced at the picture once more and sighed.

"How do I get myself involved in these situations?", he muttered. "I sure hope they're not lying about this reward…"

After a few more minutes, Conker stopped in the middle of nowhere. He was surrounded by lush greenery, but no dangerous man. Conker started to think that he had already been arrested, that, or he escaped. He sighed as he began to give up, but he so wanted that money badly; he couldn't help it, he was just very money-hungry.

He sat on the grass beneath him and crossed his legs. "Well, I guess I'll just wait here until he appears…", he thought to himself, gingerly ruffling the fur on his tail, waiting patiently for something to happen.

* * *

Up above the trees, a rustling sound was heard. Vexx was navigating from uptop the trees, searching for the one responsible for destroying the forest in his homeworld. He used the sharp metal blades of his talons to trim away some of the greenery that was blocking his view. He looked high and low, left and right, but so far he couldn't find who he was looking for.

 _Damn, where can he be?_ , he growled to himself.

He continued to search for this mysterious being, ignoring most of his surroundings, even if it meant feeling like he was being watched by, say, _other people_.

* * *

Meanwhile, the other duo was standing just above the trees that surrounded the forest. They were searching for both Conker and Vexx, since those 2 were part of this plan that the shorter weasel-like creature came up with. The taller, dar one looked to his right and saw none other than Vexx frantically searching for Conker.

 _Well, Professor von Kriplespac. It looks like your plan is working after all. There goes that twerp Vexx over there. Now we just need to find the squirrel…_ , the tall, dark being distant from Vexx chuckled.

The short one in the wheelchair, now known as Professor von Kriplespac, overheard the low chuckles coming from his much taller comrade. "Vat is it, Mr. Dark Yabu?", he asked.

The taller one, now known as Dark Yabu, pointed towards Vexx, who still didn't know of their presence. "Ooh, look vat ve have over zere. Zere's one of zem…", the short one in the wheelchair remarked. "Now, I could've svorn zere vas another vone valking below us…", he mumbled. The duo were initially going to move someplace else, but they no longer felt the need to after seeing Vexx bury himself in the lush greenery below them.

"Vell, now zat jour enemy Vexx has disappeared, ve should go find zat squirrel. Vat do joo sink?", Kriplespac asked.

Dark Yabu chuckled at the crippled weasel's _extremely heavy_...Russian...accent. _Yes, Professor, let's go find that squirrel of yours…_ , he chuckled to himself as the duo searched yet again for Conker, hoping to spot both him and Vexx together so that the rest of their plan could continue forward.

And the plan _did_ continue forward. Eventually, Vexx finally found an unassuming Conker sitting leisurely on the grass beneath them. Vexx was confused from Conker's rather calm behavior, though.

 _How can someone that destroyed such a beautiful forest be just sitting there so nonchalantly? If anything, I'm pretty sure he'd be out destroying some more property. Maybe he's just tired…_ , he thought to himself.

 _Well, since he's now off-guard, now's my chance to show him just whose homeworld he's messing with…_ Conker had yet to know what was about to happen to him next.

* * *

 **And that's another chapter done. The next chapter will be when things** _ **really**_ **go down between these 2 "enemies". I'm not too sure when the next chapter will arrive, but oh, well.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter. This time, Vexx and Conker show each other just who they're messing with, but things take a strange turn at the end. Please enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

 _4 - The 2 "Enemies" Fight_

"Zere he is!", Kriplespac remarked. Both looked down at the indifferent squirrel sitting around on the the grass below them. Both were slightly confused from Conker's behavior.

"Vell, he doesn't look like he's doing anysing right now…", he mumbled. "Vell, he better vatch out for your little friend vhen he comes to get him.", he added.

Dark Yabu developed a slightly annoyed facial expression. _Yeah, "friend" being the operative word...just so long as Vexx gets annihilated…_

They both continued to look down for a few seconds before seeing Vexx slowly climb down one of the trees farther from them.

"Oh! Zere he is again! Zere's Vexx! I sink he sees Conker! Quickly, let's observe!", Kriplespac ranted, and with that, the 2 slowly approached the situation while still remaining over the trees. They left a gap open between some trees so that they can further observe the situation.

* * *

Meanwhile, Conker was still sitting on the grass beneath him. He moped around persistently, still messing with the fur on his tail. He began to grow tired as his surroundings remained soundless. He also began to wonder if he was even going to receive the promised $30,000 reward should he discover the whereabouts of the suspect shown on the newscast. Even though he _did_ receive money for doing good deeds most of the time, he still had his doubts from time to time.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he felt something sharp slice against the left part of his muzzle. He stood up quickly and hissed as he held onto the cut tightly. His eyes were glued shut and his teeth clenched together.

"Ah, what the heck..!", he grunted, still holding tight onto the fresh cut on his muzzle. After a few moments, he removed his hand from his muzzle and opened his eyes slightly, observing it; there was some blood on his hand that apparently came from the cut. The rest of his surroundings were non-existent at this point, but if he were to look directly in front of im right now, he would receive one hell of a surprise.

He continued to persistently paw at the cut just to see if it was actually there, but a more rough touch on it would send him hissing and groaning once more. He shook his head.

"What the heck _was_ that? How did this happe-", his speech was interrupted when he looked directly in front of him. Who was this person standing before him? He looked somewhat familiar-ah, yes! The picture! He pulled out and looked at it, followed by the being before him, then back again. He began to compare the 2: spiky, blue hair, big, blue eyes, and red talons? This is when he realized that he had found the man responsible for destroying a village in his homeworld.

They both pointed accusingly at each other after finally meeting for the first time. "Hey, you're that guy that destroyed that village! Why don't you turn yourself in so I can get that reward they promised me!?", Conker shouted.

Vexx's facial expression went from rage to confusion within seconds. _Destroyed a village? I didn't destroy a village!_ , he thought to himself as he finally placed his arm to his side, but then he assumed a fighting stance. _YOU destroyed one, though!_ , he growled.

Now it was Conker's turn to develop a confused facial expression. He didn't understand why Vexx wasn't saying anything. _He can talk, right?_ , Conker thought to himself. _Then why isn't he saying anything?_

"Look, I know you're angry and all for some reason, but maybe we can talk this out face-to-face…? Then after that, you can just turn yourself in so that I can get this money that's waiting for me...", he asked.

This only made Vexx even more angry because to him, Conker was acting like he didn't know anything, even though he recalled _him_ being the one that destroyed a forest near his home. Conker remained as confused as ever from the situation, but nonetheless tried to keep his cool, that is, until Vexx would suddenly pounce towards him. Conker thought quickly and tried to hold Vexx back with all of his might, pressing his fingers into his shoulders as hard as he could, preventing Vexx from advancing forward. All the while, they were grunting in sync with each other

The wrestling continues for some time until Conker violently pushed Vexx aside, causing the Astaran to stumble backwards, but just before Vexx could regain his balance, Conker would take this opportunity to pin Vexx down on the grass beneath them. Conker's grip was tight on the Astaran's arms and he was seated firmly on Vexx's torso. Vexx struggled violently, but Conker wasn't getting off anytime soon.

 _Hey, let me go, you filthy rat!_ , Vex growled persistently while struggling here and there, trying to break away from Conker's grip.

"Look, I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not trying to fight anybody right now. How about we just calm down and talk for a moment, then I can get the money I deserve!?", he grunted, getting impatient.

Conker's hold on Vexx wouldn't last for long, however, as he reached over to his right side, giving Conker's arm a sharp bite. The bite went deep enough into Conker's arm to draw blood. Luckily for Vexx, Conker's right arm would let go of Vexx long enough for him to escape from beneath him.

While Vexx escaped, Conker would grip tightly on the arm drawing grunted as the sharp pain got worse.

"Damn you…", he groaned. Conker seemed off-guard at this moment, so Vexx took this opportunity to pin Conker into a nearby tree via his neck, his metal talons barely missing his neck as he gave the red squirrel an evil scowl. He slowly drug a talon across Conker's shoulder. He managed to get deep enough to rip part of Conker's sweater, but not enough to draw blood yet again.

Conker choked, trying to pry off Vexx's hand to no avail, but some quick thinking allowed Conker to perform a violent kick against Vexx's gut, knocking the wind out of him. Vexx coughed persistently as he struggled to catch his breath.

Despite the situation Vexx was in right now, it seemed like he was still winning this fight, as he managed to draw blood from Conker. _Twice_. Conker had yet to make Vexx bleed out from somewhere.

 _That was a cheap shot. He still hasn't broken my skin yet…_ , he panted.

But Conker would prove this wrong as he brought out a chainsaw - his trademark chainsaw, to be exact. He quickly whirred it and growled at a recovering Vexx. While Vexx was still off-guard, Conker took this time to say:

"Alright, it looks like we'll have to do this the hard way…", he growled. When Vexx finally regained his composure, he looked up towards Conker and gasped.

 _A chainsaw!? You Can NOT be serious…_ , he growled.

Conker smirked. "That's it; you're one dead _bitch_!", he chuckled, charging toward the enemy facing him, hoping to land an attack on him, only for him to dodge the rather swift attempt. This only made Conker angrier as he was determined to defeat Vexx once and for all.

Conker made a few attempts to hit Vexx with his chainsaw, but most of the time it passed through a few trees, causing them to be cut from their stumps and fall over.

Vexx huffed. _That's too sad; he can't even get a good shot at me!_ , he chuckled, repeatedly dodging Conker's attacks.

But Conker would show just how good he was with this chainsaw as he charged once again; he attempted to plan a finisher on Vexx, only for the Astaran to block the attack with one on his talons and throw him to a very short distance. He grunted from the force of hitting the ground and his clothes were becoming stained from the dirt beneath the grass.

Just as he got from the ground, Vexx swiftly attempted to plant an attack on the downed Conker, only for him to completely notice and dodge the attack; his arm remained outstretched as Conker then took his chainsaw back out and gave Vexx a nice bladed swipe on his arm. He roared in pain from the sensation as he covered his blood-filled arm with his other hand.

 _Well, I was wrong; he managed to draw blood from my arm…_ , he grunted.

As Vexx remained distracted onto the small, yet deep wound bleeding out from his arm, Conker then pounced onto him; he was now beneath him. He ghosted the still whirring chainsaw toward his neck. This was supposedly the end of this battle.

"Say hello to my little friend.", Conker chuckled smugly.

Just as Conker was supposed to finish Vexx off, they paused to hear a loud rustling noise. They both looked up to see something falling... _towards them_.

 _Wow, I guess my aim wasn't all that good after all…_ , Conker thought to himself, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

Apparently, one of the many trees that Conker managed to cut down was now about to fall directly on top of them. Neither of them immediately thought to move out of the way, but without thinking, Vexx pushed Conker from off of him, causing him to land face up onto the dirt away from Vexx. His chainsaw was still whirring, so he turned it off, and just after he did so, the tree fell on top of Vexx; he was completely smothered in the rather heavy tree upon him. Conker winced as this happened.

At this point, Conker was clueless on what to do now. His instincts told him to help Vexx from under the tree, however he had some doubts as he _did_ try to kill him. We had yet to know what Conker would do with the smothered Vexx.

* * *

Dark Yabu and Kriplespac saw the whole fight between Conker and Vexx. It seemed like their plan was halfway complete, as Vexx was now unconscious at this point. Dark Yabu smirked and let out a low chuckle; he seemed happy that Vexx was out of his way, however the same can't be said for his companion next to him.

"Ugh, damnit! Conker is still alive! I can't believe zis! Zey were supposed to kill each other, but your little friend _saved_ zat little rodent!", he rambled.

Dark Yabu was noticeably unamused by Kriplespac's complaining. _Oh, quit your whining, professor. At least one of them is dead. We'll just have to find another way to destroy your little squirrel friend…_ he thought to himself.

"Vell, ve'll just have to find another vay to destroy him, but how…?", Kriplespac mumbled.

At this point, it looked like Dark Yabu and Kriplespac would have to find a different way to destroy Conker, since it seemed like only Vexx was defeated at this moment, and they wanted _both_ gone. What neither knew, however, was that Vexx wasn't quite over with yet. He might've been done for at the moment, but that doesn't mean that he was done for _forever_.

* * *

 **I might publish 3 chapters a week, since I did that last week. To be continued...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Literally NO time to myself. It's all so stressful. Anyway, please enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

5 - Nursed Back to Health

A few hours has passed since Conker and Vexx fought in the forest. During this time, their fight was interrupted when one of the trees Conker cut down with his chainsaw fell on top of Vexx, smothering him and knocking him unconscious. Conker was at first clueless on what to do with the unconscious Vexx, who was supposedly his enemy, but he did save him from being crushed along with him, after all, so Conker decided to repay him by bringing him into his house so that he could be nursed back to health.

Right now, Vexx was laying on one of the beds in Conker's house, still unconscious and recovering from his injuries. A little while later, he would begin to stir, but he wasn't all thwwe way awake, yet. It would take just a few more moments for him to become somewhat aware of his surroundings. He sat up a bit from the bed, groaning as he felt a dull ache on his back. He looked around for a bit; he saw nothing but pink. Pink walls, pink dresser, even a pink lamp emitting a dim light across from him on that dresser. Whoever owns this house must really like pink…

There wasn't much going on in terms of sound, except for a pink radio quietly playing some sort of pop music, however due to the song's very slow tempo and heavy use of piano, it sounded more like jazz than pop. Either way, this faint sound of music would allow Vexx to become more alert. Also, no one else was in the room, so he was alone at the moment.

Once he was fully awake, he started experiencing a pounding headache; he groaned lightly as he rubbed his temples with 2 fingers. After a few moments, he heard some faint footsteps that gradually grew louder, but he wasn't quite sure who else was in the house with him.

His eyes narrowed when he saw someone approaching his bedside with a small bowl sitting on top of a platter. He saw the silhouette place it down near a nightstand which was sitting right next to his bedside. The silhouette then sat on the side of the bed. The more he looked at him, the more familiar he looked. He looked down; his blue sweater and green pants were slightly dirty and there were bandages covering some parts of his red fur. He began to recall their fight in the forest; he remembered something falling on him and then after that, he blacked out.

Wait, is that...Conker!?, Vexx gasped as he finally identified the silhouette sitting by his bedside.

Once Vexx was fully awake, the one next to him - Conker - smiled.

"Hey, sleepyhead.", he said. "Do you know where you are?"

Knowing that there was no time to waste, Vexx tried to get up, only to roar in pain from his injuries. Conker put his hands up to stop them.

"Woah, easy there! That tree totally owned so so you're gonna have to lay down for a while…", he warned.

Since Vexx wouldn't cooperate immediately, Conker gently forced him back into a laying position.

"Now, before you freak out, I know that you find it weird that me, your enemy, is taking care of you, and you're probably wondering why. Since you saved me from getting crushed by that tree, I wanted to return the favor.", Conker explained, hoping that Vexx would accept his care.

Vexx shook his head and sighed; he was in disbelief that Conker, of all people, was actually helping him out despite the current situation.

Conker looked to his left and took ahold of the small bowl nearby. There was steam coming out of it, but Conker was careful not to drop the bowl or spill any contents inside of it.

Once the bowl was close enough into Vexx's sight, he observed what was in it; it was just a bowl of broth and nothing more. He didn't trust it, however it did smell very good.

Conker took a spoonful from the bowl and brought it towards Vexx who would bluntly reject it by turning his head and pouting.

He tried a few more times to get Vexx to take the spoonful of broth, but to no avail. He rolled his eyes and sighed; this is when he found out that it was going to be harder than he thought to take care of Vexx while he's still lacking trust in him.

"If you think I poisoned it or something, I didn't, okay? I swear, this'll help you get better.", he explained.

Vexx crossed one of his arms, an uninjured right one, over his injured left one and growled, trying to turn his back to him. Conker thought this was childish of Vexx and chuckled. Man, he's acting just like Berri…, he mumbled to himself.

"Come on, Vexx, don't be like that. I promise it tastes good.", Conker cooed, trying to coax Vexx into taking the spoonful, but he was still being stubborn.

Man, this is tougher than I thought..., he thought to himself, but then smirked after an idea popped up in his head.

Conker placed the spoon back into the bowl and used a free hand to poke a finger all over Vexx's body, then gradually did it faster and rougher before using his entire hand to tickle the stubborn Astaran. Fortunately, Vexx gave off the expected reaction; he couldn't stop laughing if he tried.

Once Vexx's mouth was open enough, Conker would finally take the time to place the spoon into his mouth, and Vexx closed down onto it.

Conker sighed. "I knew that would work…", he chuckled. "Now will you let me feed you?", he asked.

Well, at least Vexx knew that what Conker was feeding him wasn't poisonous, but it still took him a while to finally cooperate. When he did, though, Vexx managed to finish everything that was in the bowl within about 1 to 2 minutes.

Conker placed the bowl back on the platter and sighed. "I'll bring some tea and some medicine. Don't try to do anything rash while I'm gone…", and with that, Conker left the room and headed elsewhere.

While Conker was gone, Vexx took this opportunity to try to escape; he tried to sit up and crawl out of the side of the bed, but the feeling of pain all over his body along with feeling full at the same time would slow him down significantly. As expected, he failed to reach the side of the bed on time.

Conker would come in with a mug of tea, a bottle of water, and 2 small capsules. Once Conker set each down near Vexx's bedside, the Astaran's eyes were glued to the 2 small capsules in front of him. What were these strange-looking capsules? Were they some type of poison? It was something Vexx has never seen before, that's for sure.

Conker noticed Vexx staring attentively at the capsules. "No, that's not poison…", he reassured, as if he knew what was on Vexx's mind.

"This will help your injuries heal faster. You swallow them whole.", he explained.

 _Swallow those big things!?_ , Vexx thought to himself. _Are you tying to choke me to death!?_

Conker brought them along with the water close to Vexx, who immediately rejected them.

Conker sighed. You know what, I'm not going through this again…, he thought to himself before he began searching through one of his jacket pockets.

"Knowing you, you probably don't use pills in your homeworld...oh, well, I'll figure something out…", he mumbled until he found a large bottle cap. It was the closest thing he could find to a small measuring cup. He shrugged.

Vexx stared attentively as Conker began to crush the pills with a nearby spoon. He then placed the powder in the bottle cap and mixed in some water with that.

"Here…", he said blandly, placing the cap of "substance" near the Astaran's mouth. Vexx shrugged and took the mouthful, thinking it would taste similar to the broth he just had. However, he would end up gagging as an acrid taste took over his mouth.

 _Ew, it tastes like poison!_ , the Astaran gagged.

"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?", Conker chuckled, reaching over to the mug of tea.

"You ever had tea before?", Conker asked. Vexx smiled as the smell of oranges and spices entered his nose. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Trust me, you'll like it. This one's my favorite; it's oranges and spices.", Conker smiled, letting Vexx take a sip. From the calm look on Vexx's face, he must've taken a liking to the tea.

Although the tea tasted very good, it immediately made Vexx tired and, after a few moments, Vexx was yawning and struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You seem tired. Try to get some rest. We'll talk more tomorrow.", Conker said, turning off the lamp and walking away from Vexx's bedside. Vexx must've been desperate to get some sleep because before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

* * *

 **So maybe Conker doesn't drink tea, but that was all I could think of at that moment. I'm not sure whemn the next chapter will be out, but in the meantime, to be continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Conker and Vexx start to become friendlier to each other in this chapter...and kinda some fanservice, I guess. Please enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

 _6 - A Little More Friendly_

Vexx woke up sometime later, thinking it was another day. He looked out the window; it was still dark out. He then looked at a clock hung on a wall across from him. It was 12:15...at _midnight_ , so technically it was a new day.

He narrowed his eyes. Just because Conker had taken care of him for the past few hours didn't mean he was going to let him get away with what he did to that forest in his homeworld. Everything was just too weird; he still didn't understand why Conker was acting so innocent, he was pretty sure _he_ was the one he saw in his homeworld. He rolled his eyes as he began to remember when Conker had the nerve to blame him for destroying a forest near his house, too. All that mattered was that he could get Conker to confess about his actions. He didn't understand why that was so hard for him to do. He was going to show Conker how it felt to have part of a home destroyed.

He snuck into what looked like another room. He was crouching upon the carpet beneath him until he eventually saw Conker. He thought that he would be asleep, but he was actually wide awake, leaning against a small nightstand and looking at something. He couldn't care less what he was doing, though; he was ready to get Conker in his place.

He growled. Without a second thought, he stood up and locked Conker in a strong chokehold. The latter yelped with surprise when his neck jerked back so suddenly, and he was gasping for air. Vexx wasn't going to let go of him anytime soon.

Without a second thought, Conker jerked his arm back and something hit Vexx's forehead, shattering in the process. The Astaran hissed in pain as he gripped the wound on his forehead. It was drawing a little blood, but the wound wasn't too severe.

Whilst Vexx was off-guard, Conker looked around until he saw what looked like a bat...with sharp nails poking out of it. He gripped it tight and slowly approached Vexx. The Astaran growled as he regained his posture.

"What's going on here? Why are you attacking me?", he asked. Conker couldn't believe he was going through this nonsense again. Why couldn't Vexx just stay in bed and rest himself? He must still lack trust in Conker; he couldn't blame him, the feeling was mutual.

After what seemed like forever, Conker was about to put the dangerous bat away until Vexx made to attack. Conker just barely dodged him and a swing from his bat produced some impact on the Astaran's lower back. He gripped the impacted area and grunted. His own blood was starting to stain his clothes.

Conker huffed and delivered a sharp kick to Vexx's back, where the wound was, and his foot remained there. He never removed it; in fact, his weight on his back was increasing ever so slightly. "Jeez, you're really stubborn, aren't you?", he asked. "You're just too hurt to fight me now, so you might as well just give up…"

Every time Vexx tried to escape, Conker would put more weight on the former's back, causing more pain. It took a while for Vexx to finally stop struggling; it seemed like he finally got the idea. Conker removed his foot from his back and walked towards a dresser drawer. He took out what looked like a pair of basic pajamas, and they were just one dull color; white...well, off-white, to be exact.

"Here, take this. You're around my size, so it should be a decent fit…", he said, bringing another hand out, supposedly to help Vexx from the floor.

Conker raised a brow when Vexx didn't comply. "Well? I don't have all day. Your clothes look rickety and you're staining the carpet…", he remarked, observing a small red stain beneath the carpet.

Instead of taking Conker's hand, he swiped the clothes from the squirrel's hand and made to stand up on his own, however right after doing so, he collapsed beneath himself and grunted in pain. His back was still hurting and he couldn't walk properly.

"Here, let me carry you…", he offered, slowly rolling Vexx over so that he was looking up at the ceiling before scooping him up bridal style. He quickly noticed Vexx lightly blushing due to the way Conker was holding him.

"Oh, chill out, buddy. I don't bite…", he said jokingly before walking to the bathroom nearby whilst still holding Vexx nonchalantly.

* * *

Once they made it to the restroom, Conker set Vexx down on a nearby stool.

"You change. I'll get a rag…", he said blandly before retreating elsewhere. Vexx waited for Conker to exit the restroom so that he could at least try to change into his new clothes. After a long struggle, he was finally in some more comfortable clothes.

Just in time, Conker reappeared with a small and damp rag in his hand. "Move your arm for me.", and with that, Conker pulled up the Astaran's shirt very slightly and wiped off any remaining blood from his hip. It didn't hurt too much, so Vexx remained pretty still for that part.

Once a large adhesive bandage was placed on his wound, Conker slumped back and huffed. "So, you promise to stay in bed this time?, he asked. When he didn't receive a response, he repeated himself: "You promise to stay in bed?"

Vexx glanced down at where Conker inflicted the wound on his hip before nodding once.

Conker smiled. "Great…", he said blandly. He then raised a brow in confusion when Vexx limped out of the restroom briefly.

"Now, what's he up to…?", he thought out loud. Vexx then returned with a small package. He dangled it from his talons back and forth some and gave a weak smile. Conker recognized the packet and chuckled.

"I see you really like that tea. Should I make more?", he asked. Vexx immediately nodded and hurriedly headed back to the kitchen, hoping that Conker was following behind. "Watch out...", he said.

Once there, Conker slowly grabbed the teabag from Vexx and smiled. "How about I teach you how to make it, that way you won't be bothering me every time you want a refill?", Coker offered.

Vexx thought for a moment before shrugging. _I'll take that as a yes_ , Conker thought to himself. He scrambled around the small kitchen until he found everything he needed and proceeded to slowly, but surely, teach Vexx everything he should know about making his own mug of tea.

"It should take about 10 minutes to start boiling, so keep a close eye out on it..." he said before heading back to his own room. Vexx then proceeded to wait...for way longer than he thought he would, but Conker was right; after about 10 minutes, his tea was finally ready. It took him longer than it should've to pour his desired amount, along with the tea bag, into a mug.

 _Alright...honey...how much am I supposed to put?_ , Vexx grumbled. He recalled Conker telling him to put as much as he'd liked to get a tasted he desired. Just a single tablespoon proved to provide just the right amount of sweetness.

Vexx headed back to Conkers room and stood near the doorstep. Conker looked to be reading a small magazine whilst lying down on his back. When he saw Vexx nearby from the corner of his eyes, he rolled his eyes and sat up. "What do you want, now?", he asked.

Vexx smiled widely and headed towards the squirrel, taking his hand and shaking it, as a sign to say "thank you". Conker raised a brow, not quite understanding the gesture, so he just assumed he was giving thanks. "No problem, I guess…", he mumbled. He was hoping that Vexx would just leave him alone for tonight, but instead he tried to take a glimpse at whatever Conker was reading. Conker noticed and brought the mag away from Vexx.

"This isn't something young, dangerous, and immature young men should be reading…", he said, trying to close it, but that didn't work since Vexx was still able to see whatever was inside of that mag, and when he saw that, he turned away, covered his eyes, and blushed a dark red.

 _Oh, jeez. They're in all sorts of poses…_ , Vexx chuckled.

When Conker saw Vexx's face of embarrassment, he couldn't help but chuckle. "See? I told you you shouldn't read it…", he said. "These models shouldn't be taken lightly; they're only the most professional and most beautiful in the industry. Who knows what you'd do to them…or what I'd do to them, for that matter...", for some reason, Conker's smile became wickedly wide.

Vexx managed to regain his posture, but once he did so, his eyes were glued to a particular page of what looked to be a tall female chipmunk in a pink lace bikini. He swore that she looked familiar, however he just couldn't decipher where he'd seen that face before. Also, her face was obscured a bit by her arm. He couldn't help but blush at her, though; she was kind of _adorable_.

Conker removed the mag from Vexx's sight when he saw him looking at that particular page, but he wasn't mad. In fact, he could help but laugh some more. "What are you looking at my girlfriend for? Go get your own…", he chuckled.

 _Girlfriend!?_ , Vexx's eyes widened. Conker smacked his lips. "In case you were wondering, yes, Berri was my girlfriend and a part-time model before she died. You may or may not have seen some pictures in this house..."

Vexx recalled taking a few quick glances at that picture frame of Conker and Berri while being taught how to make his tea. He also recalled seeing a replica of that picture in Conker's hand before he shattered it across his head. He took a sip of his tea and nodded. _Now_ he knew where he's seen that face before. He tilted his head and raised a brow, wanting to know more about this "Berri" gal.

A long pause, then Conker spoke again. "She was shot to death many years ago. It's kind of a long story. The nerve some people have…", he explained. "I don't have too many pictures of her, but I just look at what's left."

There were a lot of questions that Vexx was dying to ask, such as: _Why is she taller than you? What have you 2 done together in the past?...Is her butt real...?_. He decided to just leave them unanswered, but his eyes remained on Conker's former girlfriend. At this point, Conker just gave up and decided to let Vexx look.

"I know she's pretty hot, wouldn't you agree?", Conker sneered. Vexx decided to hide his embarrassment by gulping down more tea, however this proved not helpful as this made him choke on it. Conker patted his back so that Vexx could stop choking.

"Slow down, buddy. She's not going anywhere.", he said. Once Vexx's choking died down, Conker offered Vexx to read through more of the risqué mag with him. Apparently, Vexx had the same tastes as Conker, as far as women go. This was going to be a rather interesting night for the 2.

* * *

 **Sorry I took so long to do literally anything with these fics. I wish my schedule wasn't so hectic with school and stuff.**


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